Hello Out There..

Well I just joined, this Blogging of Google.. All this is brand new to me,exciting & scarey at the same time. Knowing others will read what I've written, I hope they get what I write and hold judgement intill I write more of my past life and life as I live it today.

Our New Baby...

Well lets see, the old saying life stands still for No one...How true, since Betty died I got a new puppy.She makes my big boy Sonny very happy.He my male { pure white in color }.He a Schnuzer.And my puppy Chloe is also a ,Schnuzer.She what called Parti in color.The dark color on her is the color of Liver, when we are out side the brown is so beautiful it like a reddish brown color.And the other color on her is white.She tiny, weights less then 10lbs.And will stay small she a Toy Schnauzer. My beautiful male, Sonny was not doing well at all after Betty died.He refused to eat, and looked at me all the time with sad eyes.When he was outside,he would run all over with his nose to the ground,like he was looking for Betty.One day he even sat on Betty grave, and made a sound that I never heard come out of a dog, before.He was moaning and crying out for Betty. { I too, was feeling the same way }. So I took him to the Vet and told her all and how Sonny was doing.She told me Sandra, He morning for her.She said, some people don't belive a dog can have the same feelings as humans do when they lose something that was so special to them.He also had tears, always running down from the corners of his eyes.So I asked my Vet, would it be ok to get another little dog, for Sonny { as well as me } to love? Vet said, I normally say wait a bit longer. { it was then little over 3 months}..Vet said yes, I think if we don't get Sonny back to being happy you could end up losing him too. So I went home, and Googled Breeders and I got Blessed when I found the Breeder that I got Chloe from! Her name is Becky, and she crazy in love with doing what she does for 30 something years. Her home and her dogs are all Clean and she is "NOT A PUPPY MILL".. She hates what some sick sobs do, and have done to such, poor little fur babies. Becky has turned in many sobs, that run puppy mills.
Well, soon as I walked through Becky front door, there was this beautiful little puppy walking around the couch, growling and barking { if thats what you want to call it}..She was so dam funny, showing off like check me out, I got additude. And my heart was saying Pleaseeeee..Let this little beautiful baby girl, be the one she had up to sell.. And "YEAH".. Sure was.. I fell in love with her, the second i layed eyes on her, when I came into her living room.. Becky, me and "Chloe" went to Becky Vet, to get her finaly baby shots and checked out.. The Vet said, she nt just Beautiful,,She Perfect 100 % Healthy. When the Vet was done with her, she picked her off the table and walked over with Chloe, saying here your new baby Chloe. I had tears of joy, and happyness.. Becy gave her one last hug and said, here her Information.She gave me a plastic file all set up with all Chloe Info. about her parents and her blood line. Plus tons of information as well as a soft pink baby blanket, and a puppy chew toy. Chloe sat on my lap, and fell a sleep as I drove home. She even pee'ed in my lap too. LOL..
I had mixed emotions when I pulled into my drive way..How was Sonny going to take to her? Well soon I got in side my house. I sat on the living room floor and he was all into smelling her..Over and over again.. He licked her face and she was shaking, he didn't even bark when Chloe was waling in the living room.Chloe had the shakes, all the newness sounds, smells..A dog she never seen before.. I picked her up and sat in my living room chair, Sonny jumped up and sat next to me, all the while he kept smelling her, and licking her..She relaxed and fell back to sleep..He too fell a sleep..So did I we all took a nap..

So Sad To Lose My Sweet Little Dog..

I lost my sweet little dog, Betty. She was such a sweet,loving dog. She gave me such joy, and she was very smart. My kids, are out living their own lives. And Betty helped to fill my life with her sweetness. She died July 3,on mine and my hubby 26 anniversary. I knew that she was failing, so i bought her a beautiful casket, that's made of beautiful paper that goes right back into the earth. I held her and wept, as i told her what a joy she been. We been working on her grave site, in our big back yard. I know i must sound crazy, doing all this for a dog. She was much more than that to me. 13 yrs. ago a stupid Dr. messed up my life. At that time, Dr. paralyzed from the waist down. Four months before this i had got Betty she was only 4 months old when this happened to me.Well i feel because of her and pushing myself, with physical therapy. Betty depended on me, i was potty training her. So i dragged myself from my bed i had to pull myself on the floor. I couldn't stand up. And i had no strength in my left arm/ side. I ended up sleeping on a mattress i had my hubby put down on the floor for me. Dan worked very long hours in food service, he would rush home in the afternoons to help me. All i could keep down was water and water melon. So Dan made me up a cooler with ice and my melon cut up in zip lock baggies. Tell ya, what ones dignity gets lost fast, once you can be independent. Using a plastic tub for a toilet that was also one of my low points in my life. But sweet little Betty, was there with me, only a puppy with bounds of love to share. Many, many times i can remember crying with so much pain.But she lick my face and slept with me. When my legs started to work some, then the pain of hell really set in. My arms were burning, like someone had set them on fire. I was like most people who believed Dr's. were there to help you, not to lie and turn your life into a living hell. I'm sure their are some "REAL" great Dr's. out there, i just haven't found them and I'm not a true believer of them much any more. Too many, all they care about is the money!!
I use to be a Clown, yes a real Clown. I loved so much!! I Clowned for the healthy and the very ill children. Their smiles, and laughter and hugs fed my soul with such love and joy. They taught me how to really laugh and yes, really cry. When i grew close to a ill child and they passed away, i felt they took a piece of my heart with them. Many a times after they died, i would say i can't i just can't put my grease paint and my costume on again.
Then i get a call from a Mom, Dad asking me to please come to the hospital or their home. Because their ill child wanted me. And every time i came. Spend a little time with a beautiful dying child and then shut your mouth, if you start feeling sorry for yourself, on maybe you have to pay a bill or your car breaks down. Nothing can compare to that dying child. I had many of them whisper to me, please don't let my Mommy and Daddy be sad, OK? If they get sad Candee ( my clowning name), can you please come to see them and make them laugh too?

Missing Out On My Life..

Blogging is brand new world to me. I think i understand it. It writing down things you feel you like to say. I have always been a writer of my life and things that have gone on in my life, and in my life. I'm no spring chicken. Who the hell came with comparing a chicken to a person looks? And who ever seen a chicken spring? lol I looked in my mirror today, while brushing my teeth ( a chicken has no teeth ). and i see a woman that i don't recognize. When your life got flipped up side down.. The past 12 yrs. aged me to look and feel like i doubled my age. At least i don''t look like a old chicken. I have 3 grown kids, two are in the military. My son a Marine and my youngest she a Sailor and so her husband. I have 4 grandchildren..ages 18, 6, 5, and 8 mos. I come from a big family of 7 siblings, I'm the oldest. Our Mom, raised us all by herself. I miss her so much. She passed away a year ago, but at times feels like she just passed. We grew up very poor. I being the oldest and my brother that only 11 months younger than me. We learned how to survive so we could help to provide for our family. Life was not always easy that for sure, but i wouldn't traded for what my younger struggling years taught me in my adult life. Mom would always say, remember when you see someone that has so much and they still not happy. She say, Less Is More. Of course when she say it, we kids would roll our eyes and laugh. Not understanding what she was telling us. But she was spot on, Less Is More.